Chirp!
Are you glad to see that the ever-so-pessimistic version of Girl With Two Thumbs is back? Because I sure as hell am.
As I’m sure you’ve noticed, this old thing I like to call a blog has a new layout! Thank you to Nayla Smith for designing the header image and tweaking the overall look. She’s a great graphic designer and illustrator, so please check out her lovely artwork here or there.
Happy [late] Valentine’s Day, by the way. I hope all of yours went well, and despite appearing so negative to all of you, I hate to admit that it is one of my favorite holidays.
I know, it’s hard to believe. But I actually love love.
Ah, love. Which brings me to my main topic: school dances. They’ve been around forever, I imagine. If you’ve ever been to middle or high school, I can almost guarantee you’ve had some relation to a school dance, whether it be as forward as attending or running the planning committee, or as distant as having an annoying cousin who drags you along dress shopping for their prom. We’ve all been associated with a school dance at some point of time.
I, myself, have a school dance coming up, seeing as I am in school. And, fine, let children have their fun with punch and pop music, I don’t care- as long as I’m not involved. As long as it’s on an optional Friday night where I’m not in the midst of the thing. But the problem with some school dances (rather, the problem with mine) is that it takes place in the middle of the day on a Thursday, smack in the middle of the week. And if you choose not to partake in this dance, and I’m not joking when I say this, the teachers have you sit in a room they nickname “The Dungeon” and do work.
Nope. Tis the truth.
It’s as if they want all of these romantically confused and socially awkward teenagers to put on tight dresses or attempt to tie neckties, and break a few girls hearts, because it wouldn’t be a school dance without any of these things.
So, that’s a typical middle school dance for you. A few things that may occur at any given school dance:
Awkward Slow Dancing

You’re so excited to dance with whoever you’ve been eying throughout this entire event, and when they ask you to dance you might just faint from happiness. Well, all that fades when you’re actually dancing with them, and find that there’s nothing to say. Both parties dart their eyes in opposite directions until Mary J. Blige stops singing and a good Michael Jackson beat comes on. They part ways and never speak again.
Short Dresses
I’m not entirely sure what it is about teenage girls and dresses for dances, I’m really not sure. I suppose to people IN the social circle (I am not), there may be some unspoken competition, where the winner gains their title from wearing the shortest dress with the lowest neckline. Those little purses girls bring with them to such occasions? No, they don’t contain their cell phone or spare cash. That’s a tape measure compartment for measuring the shortness of dresses in order to determine a winner.
I bet that’s how Prom Queen is chosen.
Bad Prom Photos
…Need I say more?
Wishing you all happy days ahead,
-Girl With Two Thumbs